To my disgrace, I acted in fear of losing my life to the Green Knight and not on this chivalry all have falsely attributed to myself. My quest to find the Green Knight was my acceptence of the doom to which I had sworn to subject myself. But the sheer magnificence and enjoyment of life itself that I experience with my host during his extravagant and gay festivities filled me with envy for those who would continue to live. I was covetous of the good people who could continue to revel in the luxuries that life has to offer. Through this envy my cowardice rose, and I could not decline the girdle from my lady when I learned it would save my life and grant me more years of excess, years that chivalry had not seen fit to grant me.
So I abandoned my goodness, my claim to the love of the people and my respect of myself. Yet Arthur and his court, even Bertilak himself, presume that my reputation is still intact. But I will always wear the girdle to remind myself of the stains on my virtue.