As I Lay Dying

As I lay dying amidst this battlefield struck down by my own blood by my own sword Clarent, I wonder was my time as king just.  My round table lay in ruins. My knights have died all around me in these wars one after another. Kay, Bedivere, Lionel all loyal knights of my table... such loss.  Was I truly the right ruler for this kingdom?  God shows me dreams of events to unfold I am told I embody the dragon and burn asunder all that I touch. Be it land, wealth, knights, my people they all burn under my rule before my very eyes. Gawain to have lost you at such a time words cannot utter my grief at your loss.

They carry me and my mind wanders for what have I done. To lead these men to their demise my rage at their loss is folly. My kingdom lay in ruins spurned by my own blood. I fought and slain my own blood. My wife and her love stolen from me. I may finally rest but my soul will not staring towards the shrouded sky my mind flickers back to the events. They pass me my birth, my rite, my rule, my deeds.  The duel of dragon and bear, man and giant. Still so vivid within the annals of my memory delivering the mortal blow for Christians just as I had slain Lucius for Briton. Kay despite his wounds knelt before me, Lionel mutilated beyond recognition, Bedivere felled when driven through. Was Lucius's death worth so many knights. Gawain the good most beloved of all my vassals felled by Mordred as he felled me. I feel as if I had a hand in his death with Mordred bearing my blood. I am filled with regret as I recall the dream of great Kings of old who fell at the height of their power. "I led them to this fate" I draw my last breath filled with regret. Forgive me.

11/15/2013 8:57am

My Lord, there is no need to ask for forgiveness. You already have mine, for I give it to you without a moment's thought. As your faithful knight, my devotion to you is endless. Even in death I consider myself true, loyal to you for all of time. My death for your name is no reason for tears, but a reason for me to rejoice. I will be dining with our Savior tonight.

My only regret was to leave your side in the middle of battle. To die for you is an honor, but I only prey I was of sufficient use in your eyes. To me, my life had meaning thanks to you. I will glady await you at Heaven's doors and accept you in a warm embrace upon your arrival.

You have done good. All our deaths were not for nothing. You have avenged us and you have saved our land. So rest, and do not worry about forgiveness. We all played our role and you gave your final blow like the noble king you were and died as. It is over now. You can now be at peace.

11/22/2013 5:20am

It is a time filled with sorrow indeed, for we have lost everything now. Our rein has perished from this earth. The Kingdom of my beloved Arthur had to end such. For he was valiant in battle and he stood down for no one. He fought bravely in defense of his kingdom alongside his many loyal knights, in turn their bravery was rewarded with his loyalty and his ultimate sacrifice.

As for me, I shall live out the rest of my days in perpetual pray and repentance. I shall pray that Christ grant Arthur and his knights of the round table the eternal life and salvation that they were promised on this earth. And that they rein forever in the life everlasting at the right had of Christ our Lord. When my time comes for eternal sleep I pray that I am forgiven my transgressions


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