Was I not a good and godly man? I whom dutifully tended to Arthur from the day of his birth to make him the most kind and virtuous king ever to be known to the world! I do not deny that I wished to be loved by the beautiful Viviane but is that truly a just cause for my cruel murder? Were it my will it was certainly within my power to take my pleasure of the maiden's flesh but instead I endeavored to win her heart as she had won mine. For her I left my good king's side, for her I taught all of my craft, for her I built a home to be envied by even the old emperors of Rome or even the king of Babylon, and for her I took an oath whereupon I swore to never vex the young thing! An oath not even taken by husbands on their wedding nights for as you all must know husbands often do vex their wives. And somehow to that oath I did adhere faithfully and for it she told me she loved me! Alas! Is to be enamored by maidenhood so wrong? It is a fine a virtuous trait that any man should be proud should his wife be in possession of.
And yet I was hated for it and for my birth. God saw fit to pardon me for my father's birth as did Uther and Arthur and all of whom I had known so why then did the object of my love have to be the one creature in all of creation who could not see fit to see my goodness rather than my taint? My actions have proven time and time and time again that I am no agent of the devil but always and forever a humble disciple of god! I wonder then, why has god denied me the one pleasure in this life which I sought? Ah, tis' not my place to question the great Lord's will but still as I lay here in this tomb occupied by two lovers whom I so envy for the love they shared I cannot help but lament at the fate which has been forced upon me. Perhaps in heaven the Lord will see fit to show my the pleasures so cruelly denied me for my entire life.
Ah but what sacrilege I speak! No I have always and shall evermore be a servant of God, if this be his will for me then I must humbly accept my fate. Better to lose my flesh than my soul I suppose. I lay here glad to know she was able to save Aurthur from his sister's treachery. Maybe this fate is my punishment for ever leaving Aurthur's side. I know he will live a great many more years and shall be the greatest king of history and this knowledge gives me contentment.
If nothing else let my woeful tale be a cautionary tale to good, faithful, and loving men of the world. Let them know of the wickedness and cunning of women which is so powerful it could best even me, The great and all knowing Merlin! Though they may say they love you faithfully and smile in your presence these words may be poison upon which you gleefully drink. Until your fate is sealed as is mine and there is naught to do but wait alone to die. In many ways this is my own fault but I have but one life to give and now I must commend my soul to God. Farewell friends.
-Merlin