Minstrel: [singing] who ran away...who bravely ran away away...
Sir Robin: No! I did no such thing! Let me expla-
Minstrel: [singing] When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.
Sir Robin: I did not! If you'd just let me tell them tha-
Minstrel: [singing] Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about, and valiantly, he chickened out. When dangerous things came in his path, he bravely ran and saved his ass
Sir Robin: I did not chicken out!! I just did not want to die! Is that so bad?! I want to explain tha-
Minstrel: [singing] Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat. A brave retreat by brave Sir Robin.
Sir Robin: hush! No more words from you! Begone! Now, let me begin my tale....
Knights and ladies of the court,
Alas, I have finally met my demise by being thrown into the Gorge of Eternal Peril. But, I am proud to say that I did so bravely! After Sir Lancelot, did you see King Arthur go next? Galahad? Bedevere? No! It was I, the brave Sir Robin you went second! But am I remembered for that? No. Rather I am remembered as the knight who nearly faught the Dragon of Angnor, who nearly went up against the vicious Chicken of Bristol, and who at wet himself at- well, lets not talk about that.
But why must I be remembered as the only coward?! Do you all not remember Culhwch who had King Arthur and his knights complete all his tasks for him? Lanval who had to have a woman come along and save him? I was certainly not the only coward in the court my friends!
Rather, let's remember me for the bravery I showed! I attempted to slay that very terrifying, cruel, and bloodthirsty Rabbit of Caerbannog along with King Arthur and his knights! I also-well...well I! No...perhaps that was the only brave deed I had (besides going second at the gorge of eternal peril, remember that!) but I did have my brave moments.
I ask you my dear knights, please remember me for the heroic knigh I...well, attempted to be. At least I attempted! I was just not found of dying. Who in there right mind would want to? But nevertheless I put myself in harms way, just managed to escape in the end. I mean sure, I ran away from a fight with the Three-Headed Giant, but did you not hear what they were saying?! They were planning to kill me then have tea, of course I ran away! No no wait! I didn't run away, it just seemed to be a family affair and I did not want to intrude and I- well you get my point.
Remember me not as a chicken, a coward, a not-so-brave knight, but rather as a man who valued his life enough to not waste it!
Wish me luck down here in the gorge of eternal peril. I'm stuck down here with Galahad who won't shut up about how he never got a chance with women, blah blah blah...
Oh, I also asked my dear Minstrel to add a picture here for you all to remember me. A picture that truly captures my heroic essence and the shows the brave knight I was. Enjoy!