Alas! He had crossed the Sword Bridge and defended me from my captor despite the lingering threat of death. But it was his hesitation upon mounting the cart that stirred displeasure within me; a sense of gratitude was intangible when he appeared in front of me following his great feat. I could not bring my eyes to meet his gaze nor find the words to speak. I remained unengaged. No sooner had I repudiated his presence did he leave Gorre to seek Gawain.
The realization that I had turned my back on the knight that had come to my rescue came as a paralyzing blow. Word had traveled through the grapevine; my dear Lancelot had been captured and killed. How could I have been so cruel? I immersed myself in misery and guilt, deprived my lips of food and drink; for I deserved no such indulgence after such coarse behavior towards my knight. My thoughts were clouded by my own demise. I made it certain that I should mourn my lover's loss as opposed to face my own death and so conveniently put these feelings to rest. This remorse was mine to bear.
The grief in my sinking heart had been lifted- news that Lancelot's death had been a mere fabrication of the land had been brought to my attention. No sooner had I received the message that he was alive and well had he appeared right in my very presence. I felt no containment as we locked eyes and I allowed the overpowering sensation of love to sweep over my entire body. After such an arduous journey, I owed it to my knight in the first place to divulge such intense feelings and not try to subdue them.
- Guinevere