I am Sir Galahad, the bravest and best knight in all the land.  I have seen Monty Python’s vision of what the Quest for the Holy Grail is like.  Never in my noble, God-fearing life have I been so outraged.  He got my character completely wrong.  Let’s not forget the fact that he left out the most important part of my story, I sat in the Siege Perilous, and didn’t die or implode.  On top of that, not to put myself on a pedestal or anything, but I was the only one who pulled the sword out of that block.  I wonder who else in our history had done that.  Oh! That’s right, our very own King Arthur, who was also made a mockery of.  For Christ’s sake the peasant was talking back to royalty.  On what land does that happen.  The portrayal of Sir Robin though couldn’t have been more on point.  There was a reason he was left out of the stories.  Not only was it true that we was a coward, but that would have taken away from the nobility and reputation of our exclusive gathering of knights.  I don’t know why they compared his bravery to Sir Lancelot.  I mean, am I not the best, the bravest, the purest, and the most handsome knight to ever step foot in King Arthur’s Court?  That whole Holy Grail could not have been done without me.  I have seen the damn thing, and ascended into heaven.  In case you are wondering, yes, I did become the best angel’s in God’s Legion and rose up the ranks to become commander.  No big deal.  Monty Python didn’t think so either I suppose.  What was the deal with the rabbit?  We have slayed dragons, giant, trolls, giant dragons trolls, and crushed other armies that dare look at us sideways.  I actually catch rabbits, for my weekly rabbit stew dinner that I have at the round table when I take my seat at the Siege Perilous.  That was the worse piece of Arthurian anything that I have ever seen in my life.  My adventure was by far the worse.  I set out on the quest on my own, until I met up with Good Sir Bors and Sir Perceval, whom I save from twenty knights.  Let me say it again, TWENTY KNIGHTS.  Beat that father!  The Castle of Maidens was no joke either.  I don’t know where Monty, found those horses, but the women at the Castle of Maidens looked like angels.  Don’t tell the King, but they made Guinevere look like a troll.    But anyway, I have actually seen the Holy Grail, and if you read Morte D’Authur, no other knight had been able to see the Holy Grail.  I was brought in to redeem King Arthur for this quest since no other knight was fit to do so.  So you dare mock me, Monty Python?  I spit on your grave and bite my thumb at you sir.  Do not be caught in my cour or I will strike you where you stand.

12/13/2013 3:26am

My Dear Sir Galahad,

Your temper seems to have gotten away from you. Try to remember that the most sincere form of flattery is imitation so I would gather you could say that Monty Python was an attempt at flattery. Oh alright, even I can see that it was satire meant to point out how outrageous the stories of our time can seem in a post medieval world. Think of it though. It matters not whether our stories go down in the history scrolls as accurate what matters is that our stories go on into perpetuity. Whatever form of reinvention these stories take we must try to remember that our names are still on the lips of mankind, our lives go on into eternity. We have had our time on earth and now our history belongs to the ages. Whatever form that history takes, we can not control, so it matters not if you spit and bite. Rejoice in the sound of your name ringing on throughout time. We have what most live and pray for, through Monty Python we have been given new life.

Now if only I could get myself out of this convent and into a rehabilitation facility I could live on into the twenty first century, or at least for another 15 minutes time.

Peace to all my fellow Bears. It has been my highest honor to have served as your Queen, or should I say I have been honored to have had you serve me. May all our names live on eternally, no matter how they are spoken. Our greatest peril would be for our history to cease to reinvent itself; for our time to be, dare I say, forgotten.

Your Eternal Queen,

12/13/2013 9:49am

I believe they got my character quite right what a bright bunch capturing my kingly mannerisms. The peasantry could have used some work but other than that knights kneeled before me. I defeated that powerful black knight with ease how overpowering I must have been. All those knights at my command, those French did not have a chance but who were those strangely dressed people in those metal chariots with no horses. Although how embarrassing my knights were being defeated by a rabbit. I should have chosen better or they should have been stronger in character.

12/13/2013 12:37pm

The men who wrote the odd play Monty Python and the Holy Grail must be from a very strange land indeed. They have clearly never met a true knight, not even seen one from afar. They lack reverence for our Lord and for their king and his knights. I did not understand much of what I saw, but I know my son and his knights were being mocked. The whole thing was utter nonsense, from start to finish. There wasn't a thing of value in the entire work.

12/13/2013 9:17pm

Ah, what a great quest you have had to go through! But, I wonder, how could a knight as fine as myself not have been invited? Clearly I am the greatest when it comes to knighthood, and as such it only makes logical sense that God would bestow to me the task of finding the Grail. How is it, then, that Aurthur himself couldn't even choose me--his own brother? It is upsetting indeed.

It must just meant the Lord has a greater quest in mind for me, and that I have yet to meet my destiny. I look forward to seeing you all when that day comes!


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