With all my strength, I held back from showing my true feelings for Lancelot upon his return from imprisonment.  It was almost impossible to keep myself from going to him and embracing him.  Was it Love that I was trying to subdue? Perhaps that was a part of my feelings.  But it was more than that.  I was as grateful and as moved by his chivalry as I was by any feelings of love.  For it was he alone that overcame so many obstacles, so many trials and tribulations in my name.  He may have hesitated for just a moment before climbing into the cart, but now that I have the luxury of hindsight, it is clear to me that that was the only hesitation he has ever demonstrated on behalf of me, my welfare and my name.  Did he not follow me straight into the forest as soon as I was taken there?  My own husband stood idly by as I rode off with Kay, it had to be suggested by Gawain that someone should follow us at all.  If it was left to my husband, my safety and well being may still be unknown to this very day.  To what ends was I to go with Kay? To prove that I would have done anything to ensure my husbands happiness.  I now know that he was incapable of doing the same for me.  My heart has never know such sadness as this.  
     Lancelot on the other hand has done everything in his power to ensure my safe return and happiness.  He has sacrificed himself and almost gave up his own life in my name.  Lancelot has shown a complete and utter devotion to me, not just as a loyalty  to the King and his crown but to me in my own right.  And these things have provoked feelings in me that I had not experienced until the bravest of knights brought them out in me.  It is possible that some people call it love, but I would argue that is much more than love alone. My feelings for Lancelot go beyond mere romantic love that has the capacity to ebb and flow.  My feelings are a mirror of the unwavering devotion I have been shown.  It would have been cruel for me to hold back anything from a knight that has done more than expected of a mere mortal.  Our love and devotion for each other transcend the bonds of marriage.  But by controlling myself upon the return of my brave knight, I was able to make a sacrifice for him, I was able to endure my own pain for his benefit.  What good would come to either of us if our shared past was brought into the light? It would bring ruin to us both.   And so I reasoned that by keeping still now, we would one day be free to love again.
    And alas, it is my deepest wish that all in this kingdom can move beyond Lancelot's transgression in relation to the cart.  I would hold that he has done much more with his life than merely taken a ride in a cart.  He has proven himself a brave and gallant beyond measure.  I pray that these noble attributes become his new legacy. 

Guinivere
 


Comments

Kay
09/26/2013 7:42pm

My lady, what I see before me grieves me deeply. But before that, I must first draw attention to the shame I have brought upon myself. My King had entrusted me with his Queen, and I allowed her to be captured along with myself. I could not protect something my King treasures most, and this is greatly upsetting to me. I must call responsibility to myself, for it was my own idea that led to this misfortune. Despite excellent hospitability, I was a prisoner. When Lancelot arrived to the castle, I rejoiced for I thought the Queen and I had been saved.

But then I was falsely accused of sleeping with the Queen, an act that would break such bonds of loyalty with my King that it would be more than an unthinkable action. To learn that you yourself have broken such bonds… this is truly discouraging. Your husband would not have let you leave if he did not trust me with his life, and he should not be talked badly of, especially by his own wife. I feel as if my quest now has no meaning, for I have led someone so disloyal that I pity my King even more so for not only the shame I have brought him, but that you have as well. I can only pray for redemption for the two of us now.

Reply
Arthur
09/27/2013 4:55am

Low and behold my most perfect of knights and my beloved. Flawed is he and beloved is she no more. He who has been known to be the epitome of a knight I could not have foreseen him falling so low. You, my wife whom I entrusted to Kay I did in good faith and for you to betray my faith in you. That adulterer's heart no longer belongs to me but to one of my own. My faith in him also crushed though I do not blame you for lusting after my wife to commit the sin wounds me deep Sir Lancelot, No... simply Lancelot. May St. Michael have mercy on your souls for what I may do to those who would do me wrong.

If only I had foreseen such events as I had the Giant in my dreams perhaps I could have prevented such disrespect toward me. Perhaps it is my own fault for having such strong faith in you, my knight, and in faith itself. Wound me is to wound only me but to wound the rest of my court such actions will be dealt with no matter how "pure" your love is from your eyes. If your love runs so deep do not hesitate to meet my eyes with your own. Tell me unwavering in voice your feelings of him. Stare unwavering as you speak your words of ruin. Maybe then I will have mercy on you my former Guinivere

Reply
Merlin
09/27/2013 7:01am

Oh poor pitiable child. Have not a heavy hart for what has transgressed was foretold long before your birth and there was naught you could have done to avoid it.

Aurthur my king it is for these very reasons I have mentioned that I did not forewarn you against this betrayal for there are events which mere mortals such as ourselves are powerless to bend to our wills. Only know that this could be a trial from god and it falls upon your shoulders to prove your good heart and forgive both Lancelot and Gwynevere. However what is done is done and we all trust in your decisions.

Reply
Sir Bors
09/27/2013 8:30am

Fair Lady,
On my behalf of my cousin I must say that he couldn't have fallen for a more remarkable subject. Together Lancelot and I became men. As children I thought I could marvel him at any sport, and typically this was true. However, at this time I can whole-heatedly admit that he's officially conquered me at the game of love. You speak of Lancelot with such wonderous passion and splendor, and I can assure you his words consist of the same unconditional love. Perhaps you questioned his devotion to you as he hesitated to join your side, but remember that before he is knight he is indeed a man who must be reasonable to not only his heart, but his head. I've never been in love before in my life, nor have I chosen to experience the intimacy in which this sort of love conspires. However, I am able to recognize the power of love, and how it takes a toll on the lives who have fallen. Remember to be true to yourself, and you will reap the rewards. Love is steadfast, whereas pride lasts an eternity

Reply



Leave a Reply