I hesitated but two steps. Within in my mind Love and Reason were at war.Those two steps however, Reason reminded me, that my honor as a knight in King Arthur's court was at stake. My decision whether or not to mount that horrid cart will forever follow me to my death. Do I follow Reason and perhaps find a horse to mount or do I follow Love and waste no time in finding my beloved queen? In the end, Love prevailed. Love that burned so deep into my soul, ingrained into every fiber of my body.
Why does no one see my decision made out of Love? Why must every knight and maiden I encounter pass judgement upon me? If any other soul was to face such an encounter between Love and Reason would they have not chosen Love? Am I a fool? No, I am not. I am just a mere devotee to Love. Instead of belittling me, everyone should praise me for such a sacrifice that I have made as a knight. I set my pride and honor as a knight aside to fight for Love. Can no one understand that?
I am a true knight. A chivalrous knight. Is it not true that being a knight implies serving our beloved queen? I am no less an honorable knight than Sir Kay or Sir Gawain. I crossed into an unknown kingdom with my fate unknown as well and faced many challenges. I crossed the Sword Bridge which no other knight has done before. In that tournament, I did as my queen requested. She asked for me to do horribly and I did so gladly without any hesitation and when she said to give it my all, I certainly did.
I may have hesitated two steps but that was to quiet Reason and reassure Love that it was right. I may have ridden in that cart but to me, making sacrifices is what makes a knight a truly honorable knight.
My heart is no longer tender in the eyes of King Arthur; it is as cold as any stone for he has betrayed my trust and loyalty. It is my beloved Lancelot who destroyed his image as an honorable knight by climbing into the shameful cart but it was he who redeemed his honor by coming to my gallant rescue when Arthur let me slip between his fingers. By enduring the treacherous path to free me from Melegaunt's imprisonment he not only pursued glory but he made his sincere devotion to my safety evident. Liberating me from Melegaunt's threshold was by no means an effortless journey; the lengths he traveled to seize me revealed the pain and suffering he braved to declare his unrelenting love.
Alas! He had crossed the Sword Bridge and defended me from my captor despite the lingering threat of death. But it was his hesitation upon mounting the cart that stirred displeasure within me; a sense of gratitude was intangible when he appeared in front of me following his great feat. I could not bring my eyes to meet his gaze nor find the words to speak. I remained unengaged. No sooner had I repudiated his presence did he leave Gorre to seek Gawain.
The realization that I had turned my back on the knight that had come to my rescue came as a paralyzing blow. Word had traveled through the grapevine; my dear Lancelot had been captured and killed. How could I have been so cruel? I immersed myself in misery and guilt, deprived my lips of food and drink; for I deserved no such indulgence after such coarse behavior towards my knight. My thoughts were clouded by my own demise. I made it certain that I should mourn my lover's loss as opposed to face my own death and so conveniently put these feelings to rest. This remorse was mine to bear.
The grief in my sinking heart had been lifted- news that Lancelot's death had been a mere fabrication of the land had been brought to my attention. No sooner had I received the message that he was alive and well had he appeared right in my very presence. I felt no containment as we locked eyes and I allowed the overpowering sensation of love to sweep over my entire body. After such an arduous journey, I owed it to my knight in the first place to divulge such intense feelings and not try to subdue them.
Not so long ago did my brother, Aurelius the King of the Britons ordered me to lead 15,000 men across the land to Ireland. It is said that these stones have been carried by giants from Africa to Ireland. It was upon these rocks that water was poured and heated into baths as a cure for those who were struck with illness. Upon our arrival, King Guillomer of Ireland greeted us with his forces. It was not a greeting that was meant to be of welcoming to us. The forces of King Guillomer stood before us threatening for our departure. When they had learned of our purposes to arriving, the Irish laughed at us. Even those unworthy sneered and snickered as we looked high and low for these magic rocks that will one day cure our people of their illnesses. These fools who know nothing of the powers which these rocks hold will regret all their mockery when they come to us on their knees and cry. One day, the Irish neared us looking for a fight. A fight we gave them. Of course they stood no chance against us as we chased Guillomer from his land. As we set our arms to rest, Merlin led me and the men up a certain mountain where there was a kill by the name of Killomar. Finally we have reached upon the destination of our quest. The rocks stood so strong that none of the men were able to move them. Still, this was the quest which our King has laid upon us. We did not have fear for we had Merlin with us whom would engineer the transport of these rocks. And at last, with the guidance of Merlin along of the blessings of God we were able to bring a cure to illness back to the Britons. It is us now that sneer and snicker at those who once sneered and snickered at us.
Uther of Briton
My dear friend Uther,
Indeed, it was I that lead you all to the kill of Killomar. Without my influence, we would have not conquered that quest. Though, your obsession with Igerna has made you mad! You allowed me to use my magic to disguise yourself as the Duke of Cornwall. Tis’ it was I that allowed that to happen and alas your heir was conceived. Long live Arthur!
You have slain my father and may have even believed that you were victorious over the sons of Constantine but I have proved you wrong Vortigern. I have within me the fight and passion of the majestic dragon of which you, yourself, awoke in an attempt to protect yourself from the father of your very own wife. As ashes, you lay within the tomb you've constructed yourself. My brother, Aurelius, assumed his rightful crown but alas! your wicked son Paschent poisoned him, sentencing him to his death. I mourned my brother but remembered my duties. I placed the crown on my head and with my armour, became known is King Uther Pendragon. Upon returning to London, a festival was held, and there during that festival, I lay my eyes upon the beautigul Igerna, wife of Gorlois, Lord of Cornwall. The urge and passion within me was strong. I would not go on if she were not mine. So I was determined to make her my own. She would eventually become my wife. Through Merlins potions and spells, we infiltrated Gorlois' castle and made Igerna my wife that very night. Igerna conceived a son for me and later a daughter named Anna. As of now, the kingdom is quiet but for how long I do not know. There is still Ossa and Octa in prison but whatever will happen to me, I know that Arthur will rule. He will be as great of a King as I or perhaps even more loved.
Our Dear Uther,
I was bestowed with Arthur's acquaintance at the court of Duke Cador, my blessed cousin, in Cornwall. It was following ye mournful death that he had been bequeathed the king of Briton. At thee sheer age of fifteen he stood valiantly and bore thy helmet. Thine legacy lives on- his armor, embellished with ruby, emerald and sapphire, suits him well. Armed with Caliburn, thee noble sword that had been gifted to him from Avalon, he thrives to conquer. Arthur drove his myriad to Bath during a time of peril to vanquish the Saxon siege and liberate its people. Much to the aid of Cador of Cornwall, Arthur triumphed. Thereupon, he sought my hand in marriage and we prospered in peace for quite some time. He is admirable for his unselfish ways and arduous benevolence. Henceforth, Arthur desires to sustain peace among the land, giving way to thee cultivation of thee Round Table. Great eminence gathers here to bask in the ambience of equality, a newfound glory among Briton. People assemble from all around to speak thy tales and voice thy troubles. I cannot help but marvel at his gain to fame. Just as you had foreboded, he is as great as thee heir.
Do you not think that Igerna should have say in reciprocating your love? Thou may love her with true intentions though your actions seemed not justified. She is a woman of value and not of just mere conquest. Thankfully your son has not been affected by your lustful actions with his mother. It must of been predestined that Arthur would become the ruler that he is regardless of his unholy conception. Then to think that you killed a man in vain because you were blinded by your lust for Igerna. I do see your motives as one of truth to your hearts calling yet never forget of way you got her, and try to stray away from your son Arthur of the same fate.